Ready or not, here comes grandparenthood

As I watched my daughter open gift bags filled with tiny little blue outfits, soft blankets, rattles and gadgets, time seemed to rush backward 20-plus years.

Suddenly, I was attending a different baby shower, when she was, instead, the new arrival -- not the expecting mother.

And conflicting emotions ran rampant through my head as I remembered the feelings as a new mother, wondering if everything would be OK with my baby, if I'd make a good parent, if she'd be fussy, happy, imagining what she'd look like.

Most of all, I simply couldn't fathom where the time had gone. Two decades. Wow.

And though I wasn't much older than my daughter is now, I remember feeling much wiser, more mature, more prepared. I read comments I wrote in her baby book that point out just how naïve I was then.

I'm sure she thinks I'm silly for worrying.

Young people today must be tired of hearing people my age talk about how different things are from when we had children. They've got gadgets for everything. My children slept in a used crib, wore hand-me-down clothes stored in a garage sale dresser -- and somehow survived it.

Many new parents today fill the nursery with shiny new stuff, electronic monitors, thermometers that give instant results and a closet filled with clothing still sporting tags.

I know, I know. Sounds like "I walked uphill both ways in my bare feet in the snow to school" kind of reminiscing.

But I don't think I'm all that old-fashioned.

In fact, my children have brainstormed names for the new baby to call me.

"You're too hip to be called Grandma," my other daughter said one day while we shopped together.

Somehow impending grandmotherhood itself takes some of the hipness down a level. Honestly, becoming Grandmother doesn't bother me. But knowing how I felt as a young parent and now seeing life from the other end of things, watching how they turned out, decisions they made with or in spite of my advice, provides a much different perspective.

And I know deep down no one could have told me, warned me, prepared me any more than I can offer my daughter now.

Some things just have to be experienced to be understood.

Today, too, more than ever, I understand my own mother's reaction to my news back then. I knew she'd be a hip granny, love my children and offer support if I needed help or advice. She is and did and still does.

But I also recall her reservation about my young age as a mother, expressing how she wished I'd made different choices, finished college first, experienced life more, understood more fully what becoming a parent meant.

But back then I knew better.

Just as today I know better for my daughter.

And my mother knows better what I'll experience as a new grandmother.

It's simply another phase in the cycle of life, a cycle we can't predict or control, only learn to adjust and try to make positive contributions.

Everyone who's experienced it tells me grandparenting is wonderful, much less stressful than parenting.

Whether or not it is, in five weeks, I'll embark on a new challenge -- ready or not.

Kim Spencer is city editor for the Tribune. Call 392-4467 or e-mail kspencer@greeleytribune.com.