I've never been to a sad or ugly wedding

I attended a lovely wedding Sunday along the Big Thompson River.

The bride and her attendants rode up in a horse-drawn carriage amid lovely aspen trees and flowers.

The clip clop of the Clydesdales' hooves and the rushing river blended with the violin and cello music, creating the perfect romantic setting.

And I knew the bride's mother, my longtime friend, was breathing a sigh of relief it was nearly done. For the past several months, and in particular the past several days, her stress had risen considerably. Everyone had opinions about how things should be done.

I've been to several weddings in the past few months, and it isn't unusual for people to reach their breaking point in the days prior to the ceremony. All the details seem overwhelming, though I'm sure if the centerpieces are missing one color, the couple will still be just as married.

During the years I've been to more weddings than I can count -- from fancy, elaborate affairs to simple, small occasions. And the couples were all just as wed afterward.

The ceremony is, obviously, not any indication whether the marriage will succeed.

As the grandmother of the bride pointed out Sunday, she and her husband were married more than 50 years before he died. And they were joined in a simple ceremony following a Sunday morning church service. After their wedding, they went to his mother's house for Sunday dinner.

I imagine for some it's a celebration for friends and family; thus it becomes a monumental undertaking for all involved in the planning process.

But if my anecdotal experience indicates anything, what happens at the ceremony or the reception has little to do with what comes later.

The minister performing Sunday's ceremony made reference to the challenges when he said not every day will feel so romantic. Not every day will be fun.

While I'm the last person who would offer advice on making a marriage work (my own marriage lasted two decades before tanking) I do think I can offer some observations.

Little things that bug you today will still bug you 10, 15 or 20 years from now.

If your parents and your future parents-in-law are complete opposites -- in politics, religion, education, lifestyle -- you and your future spouse will face challenges.

Our upbringing, after all, is part of who we become, whether we like it or not or admit it or not. And, believe it or not, your in-laws will become your family. They'll influence your spouse, your children if you have them and, therefore, you.

I've never been to a sad wedding. I've never been to an ugly wedding.

The true happiness and beauty, however, lies in the hopeful idealism that the new couple will lead an exciting, satisfying life together.

And sometimes, it really does come true.

Kim Spencer is city editor of the Tribune. She may be reached by calling 392-4467, kspencer@greeleytribune.com