Punter makes worst shank of his life

Northern Colorado punter Mitch Cozad brought a whole new meaning to the word "shank" Monday night.

In a move only Tanya Harding can appreciate, Evans police allege Cozad, a Northern Colorado backup punter, stabbed Bears starting punter Rafael Mendoza in the back of his right thigh Monday evening in the parking lot of Mendoza's Evans apartment.

Mendoza was treated and released for stab wounds that evening while Cozad was arrested at 6 p.m. Tuesday, shortly after being kicked off the football team and expelled from the university earlier in the day.

As Peyton Manning once put it, "The sad thing is, he's a good kicker," the Colts quarterback said of former Indianapolis place-kicker Mike Vanderjagt. "He's a good kicker, but he's an idiot."

Amen.

What Cozad was thinking is beyond me.

At what point does throwing a hood over your head, waiting outside the starter's home, surprising him and stabbing him in the muscle he has used all season long to beat you out of a job sound like a good idea?

And that's not all.

Sources say that after Cozad committed the second-degree assault on Mendoza, Cozad fled the scene in his own car with personalized plates.

Wow.

I guess the scholarship he was receiving to stand on the sideline and kick a ball every day in practice wasn't enough.

No, he had to give Bears starters one more reason to watch their back.

(As if being outscored 83-10 in the first two games wasn't enough. Now they have to keep track of who's whittling wood chips into weapons on the bench.)

Don't worry, all sharp objects have been removed from the practice field.

Anyway, back to Cozad.

I think it's safe to say: Mission failed.

Assuming his motives were to move up the depth chart and not Weld County's most wanted list, the only 4th-and-20 he'll see will be in the form of 4-to-20 on his rap sheet.

But don't get me wrong.

Cozad did have an impact on the depth chart.

Mendoza is out indefinitely and the Bears are in the search for a new punter.

It just won't be Cozad.

Instead of waiting for a decision to come down from head coach Scott Downing, he'll be anticipating the news from a judge at his bond hearing this morning.

It's amazing how fast life can change.

In April, Cozad was competing for the starting job at the University of Wyoming.

But after the former walk-on for the Cowboys had a lackluster performance during the spring, Cozad imagined he could come to the Division I-AA level and snab the job. Well, at least he took a stab at it.