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Questions come up when weight goes down
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Jared Fiel
Local Columnist
April 28, 2008
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For most of my adult life I have battled my weight.
Well, that's not true. "Battled" makes it sound like an actual fight or a struggle. It's more like for most of my adult life, weight has beaten the living daylights out of me while I sat on the couch and tried to see if a half a gallon of ice cream would qualify as "one serving."
Yes, I tried the wacky diets and the occasional workout. I can't really say they qualify as a "battle" more like an obscene hand gesture, as the flabby butt tank ran me over again.
But things are different right now. Sure, I'm still fat. But I have lost more than 50 pounds since New Year's Day, and I'm stupidly optimistic that it will stay that way.
People react pretty much the same way when they find out. Of course, they find out in different ways. Women see it; women notice each other's new shoes from a half a mile away so this isn't shocking. Guys don't notice. We guys are genetically programmed not to notice any physical difference in another guy. One of my friends could grow a second head, and I'd never notice. So, guys are usually told.
After that, the questions come pretty much the same.
"What made you do it?"
Now, this is a fair question. I have been happily sitting on my lard-butt for years with no real concerns. Yes, my doctor, my mom and even a couple friends have expressed concern that I was getting way too big, but that wasn't what finally pushed me into losing it.
The real answer to this came from a teenage girl. She was an attendant at an amusement park that I took my two sons to last summer. The three of us got on the ride, and the attendant attempted to close the door by repeatedly slamming it against my big butt. She then told me that I wouldn't be able to ride the ride.
That was it. That one embarrassing moment burned with me through the holidays, and I decided that as of Jan. 1, I was going to finally lose some weight.
"How did you do it?"
When I have talked to people in the past who lost weight, I asked the same question. The real hope here is, of course, that the person will answer with, "Well, I nibbled on the root of this rare plant from South America; the next morning I woke up, and I was skinny."
Sadly, that's never the answer. Instead, I decided to try a strange diet plan this time: I watched and controlled what I ate, and I got a lot more exercise. It's amazing how that works.
"So, how much are you trying to lose?"
What they mean by this, of course, is, "You are still pretty fat, so you aren't going to stop, are you?" Again, this is a fair question. I still have a long way to go before I'd be considered anything less than a tubbo.
The truth is that the weight is not a concern for me right now. I knew I wanted to lose the 50 pounds I've gained over the last five years, but now I just want to be healthy. I have found that I like the fresh fruit and veggies I'm eating now. And, I ride a stationary bike while I watch TV and try to get in regular games of racquetball. Why would I want to stop that?
I figure if I keep that up, I’ll probably lose more weight. If I don’t, that’s fine, too.
But I can guarantee you I’ll be returning to that amusement park this year, and I really hope that teenage girl is still working there.
Jared Fiel, author of “Fumbling Thru Fatherhood,” is a former newspaper reporter and editor who now takes orders from his wife and two sons. Visit www.fumblingfather.com for more foolishness.
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